Fear

I was listening to a podcast from Erwin R. McManus of Mosaic Church, LA, this morning about living the original life, meaning living what God has called you to be, since each of us has been uniquely designed to fulfill a part in the love story of God that is the history of mankind. Anyway, one of the things McManus talked about was fear.
Often times we are afraid that we will make large efforts for God and discover that we don't have what it takes. We find out that what we feared the most in the depths of our souls is true...we are nothing. We are incapable of doing great things because we are mediocre.
Other times, however, we are afraid of what we can do. God did not make us so that he could laugh at us trying things and failing. God created each of us in His image, and therefore we are capable of doing great things. All of us have a great calling on our lives, but most of us never seek out that call and accept what it means for us. So many of us are afraid that if we step up and step out into whatever great thing is waiting to be done, then we will be shunned and socially excommunicated because we rocked the boat.
I see both of those fears in my life. As far back as I can remember, I have sometimes felt as though I could never be good enough, that I was always the one screwing things up, and that, even at my best, I would never amount to more than average. Also, as far back as I can remember, I know that there have been times that I have hidden my talents, performed as though I weren't talented at some things so that others wouldn't feel like I was cocky, or so that people wouldn't expect more from me.
Today, my commitment is that I not live in these fears. I know that I have been created for a purpose (Jer. 1:5), even if that purpose has not been completely revealed to me yet, and that God has granted me the capability to fulfill that purpose in His strength. Yes, God's strength shows in my weakness, but God is not glorified when I choose to live a mediocre life. I know that God has given me talents and abilities. He has given me intellect and (somewhat) likable personality (most of the time); He has given me the ability to succeed in many areas of my life (even if I have not taken advantage of those abilities and successes). I will not fear that others will feel badly about themselves because I am seeking to live a great life. I will not fear that if I attempt great things for God, then I will fail miserably. Even if I fail, at least I tried, and I know that God honors obedience, not success. I commit that my academic life, my work life, and especially my home life will be lived out in such a way that others will see and God will ignite a passion in them to live out such a life. I will not apologize for being the man God created me to be, and I will not go silently before the ones who try to silence God's call to greatness in my life.

Lord, help me to be all that You have created me to be. Give me courage to face my fears and strength to overcome them. Raise up in me the passion and desire to daily become more Christlike in every aspect of my life and to be unapologetic about it. Amen.

Romans 7

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do now want to do--this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord.
So then, I myself in mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Romans 7:14-25

So, basically, even Paul, the creme-de-la-creme of Christians, the apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, struggled in the members of his body with sin. Rather, the law of sin rages war against the Law of God using our flesh and our souls. My soul desires to do the will of God, but, literally, my physical body is incapable of carrying out the will of God because of the law of sin, and so only through the power of the Spirit of the Living God can I, or any other human, including Paul himself, carry out the will of God. Praise God for His Spirit, which overcomes sin. Amen and Amen.

Sober Me

Sober Me

by Ronnie Freeman

Who knew the choice that he would make
In a moment walk away
Seemed a picture perfect life
Now himself, his kids, his wife are shipwrecked
And what became of faith, was it all a masquerade
Or one day starting to love something more than he loved truth
It was one more phone call chilling me within
Can’t deny the consequence of sin

SOBER ME, SOBER ME
LORD WAKE ME TO THE SHADOWS
THAT ARE CLOSING IN ON ME
IT’S HARD TO SEE THE NIGHTFALL
WHEN IT FALLS SO GRADUALLY
SOBER ME

Desire crouches at my door but I’ve never heard him roar
He’s so silent but so real, he will lie and kill and steal
Lord, keep my soul alert of the many I would hurt
With one foolish choice I’d make, there’s so much at stake
Remind me the most dangerous place to be
Is when I’m thinking it could never happen to me

SOBER ME, SOBER ME
LORD WAKE ME TO THE SHADOWS
THAT ARE CLOSING IN ON ME
IT’S HARD TO SEE THE NIGHTFALL
WHEN IT FALLS SO GRADUALLY
SOBER ME

Lord, I know that You have forgiven me for my sin. I know that when You look at me, You see Jesus because of my faith in Him. I know that you count me as righteous, even though I am unholy. Please help me to remember that the worst place I can be is in the position of thinking that "it," whatever that may be, will never happen to me. Spirit, show me the ways the enemy is attacking me, ever so subtly, like the nightfall coming so slowly that I do not notice on my own. Lord I have so much trouble seeing myself the way You see me. Help me to see me through Your eyes. Help me to live in accordance to the calling of being one of Your disciples. You know my heart. You know my struggles. Give me courage to face the day. Give me strength to never back down. Give me grace to forgive others. Give me love to show You to them. Thank you for Your grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. You are indescribable, and my words can never do You justice.

To the one who has been hurt by my sin: I know that you are confused and brokenhearted. I cannot express how much sorrow I feel because of what my actions have done to you. My only solace is that I know you have experienced the grace of God, and so the Spirit of God will prompt you to forgive me, even if it takes some time.

The Hand of God

The past few days I've been thinking about something my friend Steven said a while back. Steven is the pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. He said that he wants his ministry at the church to operate in such a way that if God chose to remove His hand from Elevation, then it would fail miserably. Now, of course, I'm not the pastor of the third fastest-growing church in the United States, but I have my own life and my own personal ministry. Lately I've been thinking about what would happen if God chose to remove His hand from my life. I don't mean this in a God-is-picking-on-me type of way, but I mean, what if God did not let His favor rest on my life for a time? Would things be different? Would I react differently to things? Would my life fail miserably? Unfortunately, I don't think my life would fail, for the most part. I'm not saying that I live like God doesn't exist, but lately I don't think I've been depending on God for my every provision. I think that I rely entirely too much on my own ability and my own strength, as well as those of my wife, Sarah. I'm not bragging or being proud, but God has given me enough talent and drive to survive and thrive in life without relying completely on Him, which, I think, has been my greatest struggle recently. A life can not be truly lived to its fullest until that person has emptied himself of himself and filled the void created with the love of Christ.

Abba Father, please help me to quit relying on my own strength and abilities to achieve success in my life. Help me to remember that true success is only found in obedience to You, and that You have called me to empty myself of me and fill myself with You. Please guide me to live my life in such a way that if You removed Your hand from me, I would be an utter failure. Help me to love You the way Jesus loves You. Amen.

Faith is...

I heard a quote on the radio today. I don't know who it was, but when I turned on the radio after leaving Home Depot this morning, there was a preacher who said "Faith is believing God's word and acting upon it, no matter how you feel." I just thought that was a really good definition. Faith involves a whole lot more than belief (check out the book of James if you don't believe me), so acting upon God's word is necessary to faith. In addition, I like how the preacher added the "no matter how you feel" part, because faith has nothing to do with our emotions. Sure, we are influenced by our emotions at specific times, and the Spirit uses those emotions to speak to us, but just because we're having a bad day doesn't mean our faith is less, and just because we're having a good day doesn't mean our faith is more. Chew on that for a little while.

The Pursuit of Perfection

Last night Sarah and I watched The Last Samurai. It was not the first time we'd seen it, nor was it the first time I'd noticed what I'm going to blog about, but it was a reminder.
Background: In the movie, Tom Cruise plays Captain Nathan Algren, a Civil War hero who has suppressed numerous tribal rebellions of Native Americans and is hired by the Japanese to help them suppress the rebellion of Samurai leader Katsumoto. After the first battle, Algren is taken captive by the Samurai. I use the word captive loosely, considering he is free to roam the village of the Samurai freely, and it is also in the village where Algren finds freedom from his internal chains of captivity.
This is what Algren writes in his journal concerning the Samurai: They are an intriguing people. From the moment they awake, they devote themselves to the perfection of whatever they pursue. I have never seen such discipline. I am surprised to learn that the word "Samurai" means "to serve," and that Katsumoto believes his rebellion to be in the service of the Emperor.
The Samurai Algren comes into contact with pursue perfection in everything they do. There is no mediocrity in their lives, for mediocrity is a disgrace to them. Personally, I tend to be a perfectionist, but still at times I prefer to achieve mediocre things in place of putting in hard work to do the best I can. Maybe it's just me, but it really irks me when I see a person or people doing just enough to get by...just enough to not do badly.
This brings me to my reflection from this. Is my walk with Christ mediocre? Yes, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior...I'm not going to Hell when I die. That's enough just to get by. But am I pursuing perfection in everything I do? Am I doing all things to the glory of God, as I have been commanded to? Is my performance as a Christian an adequate reflection of the great God that I claim to serve?
Don't get me wrong...I'm not contending for a works-based salvation. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that nothing I have done or could ever do could earn me a place at the Table of my Master. It is by grace through faith we are saved, don't be misled. However, I do agree with James, who wrote "Someone might say, 'You have faith, but I have deeds.' Show me your faith without doing anything, and I will show you my faith by what I do" (Jas. 2:18).
Another thing, the word "Samurai" means "to serve." You can do things to the best of your ability for an infinite number of reasons, but whom do you serve? Do you pursue things to serve yourself? your family? your friends? your boss? how about your God? The great leader Joshua proclaimed to his people, the Israelites, "Now respect the Lord and serve Him fully and sincerely. Throw away the gods that your ancestors worshiped on the other side of the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord...As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord" (Jos. 24:14,15b). Choose this day whom you will serve.
So, today, as you read this and go about your life, regardless of what you do for a living or what you do for fun, devote yourself to the perfection of whatever you pursue. And as you devote yourself to perfection, do so in service not to Emperor of man like the Samurai, but to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
"As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord."

First Instincts

When I was a lifeguard, the people I worked with and I trained long and hard to make sure we knew what to do in case of almost any type of emergency. We studied first aid and practiced different procedures to help us save the lives of others. After all of the training and hard work, it became instinctive for us to act and react according to our training.
The Christian walk is the same way. I want to seek Christ with all of me. I want to be so close to Him that, when I'm faced with situation, I INSTINCTIVELY know what to do, because I know what Jesus would have me do. I want my first instinct to not be the one my flesh wants, but the one my spirit, fueled by His Spirit, wants for me.
Father, draw me closer to You every day. Help me to react in such a way that would honor You and bring You glory. Amen.